An End Of Year Gift

Most of the year this blog discusses marketing, branding, media and communication concerns; how a brand will engage consumers? What drives loyalty? Who’s selling what to whom in what ways?

For this last blog of the year we’d like to remind you if you’re trying to find just the right gift to give for Chanukah, or Christmas, or Kwanza, look no further than sharing your time and love with your family and friends.

Look closely and you’ll find that keeping these people close to you, turns out to be the greatest gift of all. Moments and hopes and dreams shared with them are all gifts with a price beyond rubies or flat-screen TVs.

Realize that the happiness that lies within you is a great gift as well. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the aisles of department stores. Remember that ultimately there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving – of your time and compassion and love.

For as long as you do that, you’ll be happy and you’ll find that you have all that you ever wanted – for the holidays and the rest of your life.

We’ll return to our customary conversations after the first of the new year, and until then, the Brand Keys family wishes you and yours a joyful season, time together, contentment, and peace.

Updating Abbott & Costello

As we near the end of 2006, it has become more and more clear that the “bionic” consumer continues to have greater influence in – and about – a more and more complex marketplace.

As a small – and we hope amusing – reminder that technology abounds, expectations swell, and meaningful and engaging “conversations” with consumers has become more and more difficult, we offer up a 21st century version of a classic routine.

ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1."

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN ALL OF IT!

It’s worth remembering that computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. And sometimes that includes today’s consumers!

Basketball Turnover

“Turnover,” the loss of possession of the basketball through error or violation.

After making the first change to its game ball in more than 35 years (see November 28th Keyhole blog) the NBA announced this week that they made an error and will scrap its new microfiber composite ball and bring back the old leather one beginning Jan. 1, 2007.

Players have not been engaged by the new ball and have complained since training camp, saying the new 2-panel composite ball was difficult to hold, bounced differently than the old one, and that the synthetic material cut their hands.

Commissioner David Stern said the league should have sought more input from players before introducing the new ball, which is something that all good marketers should do with their core constituencies.

CEO ROI

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest, but when it comes to marketing efforts, investments ultimately need to provide substantive financial returns.
Brand Keys has always believed that marketers should demand Return-On-Investment metrics, and we’ve been known to develop some really effective predictive measures.

Requests for ROI assessments run the gambit from strategic positionings to creative executions to media buys to actual, in-field execution of campaigns, promotions and events, but we’ve never been asked to look at the CEOs involved in the actual decision-making, even though the proverbial buck should ultimately stop someplace!

So here’s an interesting CEO ROI exercise. Take the total compensation a company exec gets (salary, bonus, stock, long-term incentives, etc.) and add them all up. Then compare it to the total return of the company, using change in share price plus dividends (reinvested into company stock). Do that and you can get an awfully clear picture of what bang you got for your buck! It isn’t predictive, but it will tell you who’s being richly rewarded – investors or executives.

Here’s a small sample of high CEO ROI and some downright miserable returns:

Sandra Cochran
Books-A-Million
Pay: $923,112
Return: 125.8%

David Whalen
A.T. Cross
Pay: $536,800
Return: 99.7%

Garry Ridge
WD-40
Pay: $691,116
Return 21.6%

Terry Semel
Yahoo!
Pay: $53,300,000
Return: - 32.9%

Gary Forsee
Sprint Nextel
Pay: $26,900,000
Return: - 13.5%

Robert Nardelli
Home Depot
Pay: $35,800,000
Return: - 7.5

Investors might benefit from Bernard M. Baruch’s advice when he pointed out “if you have made a mistake, cut your losses as quickly as possible,” because what applies to ad and marketing campaigns should also apply to executives!

Recipe For (A Marketing) Disaster

Well, it turns out that guacamole sold by Kraft Foods is really a whipped paste made from partially hydrogenated soybean and coconut oils, corn syrup, whey and food starch. Yellow and blue dyes give it the green color. That's probably not what the Aztecs had in mind when they invented guacamole 700 years ago.

Then it was a sauce called ahuaca-mulli, which roughly translates to "avocado mixture," prepared by mashing avocados with tomatoes and onions in a molcajete, a Mexican mortar and pestle. Today, recipes sometimes include limejuice and cilantro, and I mention this because it pretty much explains why a woman in LA is suing Kraft, alleging fraud by calling their dip "guacamole."

If consumers read the very, very fine print – which very, very few do – they would discover that Kraft Dips Guacamole contains less than 2% avocado. Claire Regan, Kraft Foods' vice president of corporate affairs, said, "We think customers understand that it isn't made from avocado.” But that said, the company is changing its label to make it clearer that it was actually selling a guacamole-like, flavored, dip-like avocado-free food product.

But here’s the kicker: Christina Ong, a Kraft marketing manager, apparently surprised that consumers expected to find lots of avocado in their guacamole, said, "I have no idea what consumers expect."

While the poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of guacamole here’s two things we can tell you for sure; guacamole without avocado is an insult both to the cook and the diner, and marketing managers should always know what consumers expect.

Holiday Gift Suggestions

This year’s “Black Friday” retail sales were up nearly 7% over last years. For any of you looking for a gift that doesn’t require your getting up at 4AM to beat the crowds, we offer up a Father-Son book(s) suggestion.

Take a look at The Writing on the Wall: Economic and Historical Observations of New York’s “Ghost Signs.’” It’s a collection of 350 color photographs of old advertising signs painted on the sides of New York buildings. Author, Ben Passikoff, provides a wonderful look at advertising and marketing spanning 150 years.

Of the book, legendary ad man, George Lois noted, “Walking the streets of Manhattan, there is nothing more charming, more nostalgic, even more mystical than the “Writing on the Wall” art of New York’s fading past. The visual preservation of the handsomely lettered wall advertisements of yesteryear painted on the sides of our town’s still standing buildings, passionately sought out and photographed by a respectful 16-year old student, offers the most exciting visual concept for a book about New York in many a year.”

The book is available online from the publisher at www.authorhouse.com

The second recommendation is our book, predicting MARKET SUCCESS: New Ways to Measure Customer Loyalty and Engage Consumers with Your Brand by Robert Passikoff. This book introduces a loyalty-based, engagement system that outperforms traditional research methods. The book shows you how to integrate loyalty and engagement metrics into existing marketing strategies – allowing you to accurately predict market behavior, customer loyalty, sales, and profitability.

A recent review from The Wise Marketer observed, “What can we say, other than to suggest that every marketer should not only keep this book on their desk but actively use it? Passikoff understands - and communicates - what you need to know to not just build a brand but to keep the growth going. But it's more than an inspirational speech, or a set of ideas. This book is fact-based, and contains the kind of research figures needed to support any brand-building initiative.”

The book is available at all leading bookstores and online at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com

Our own books notwithstanding, we urge you to give books as gifts for the holidays. Ben Franklin printed them, Thomas Jefferson “couldn’t live without them,” and, as Groucho Marx noted, “outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside a dog it’s too dark to read!”