Friday, December 18, 2015

The Best & Worst: An Ode to 2015

We often focus all our thought
On things consumers shopped and bought.
On customers, so very loyal
And those brands, with profits royal.
Or TV ads on sets or mobile
For local shows or ones more global.
But here’s a Brand Keys year-end review
Of this year’s brands, both old and new.
Some of this Brand Keys predicted
Some’s just as the news depicted.
So here’s a look at 2015’s best and worst.
Some consumers blessed, others they cursed!
Bud’s Super Bowl puppy got a cheer,
Alas, those ads didn’t sell much beer.
And they didn’t keep Bud Light shares quite stable
With a “remove ‘no’ from your vocabulary” label.
Craft brewers now have so many fans
They can’t find enough 16-ounce cans.
Chobani yearned to be a lifestyle brand.
Old Navy did much, much better than planned.
McDonald’s all-day breakfast fare
Didn’t do quite so well as the brand Square.
“Mad Men” ended with that song from Coke,
And Radio Shack went really broke.
KFC brought the Colonel back,
And you can now buy stock in a Shake Shack.
Starbuck’s race fight didn’t go well,
But Apple watch sales were really swell.
And soon you may not even need your phone.
Smartwatches will soon just stand-alone.
Google’s now called Alphabet.
Beats by Dr. Dre is #1 headset.
Volkswagen lied and they got caught.
Broadcast and cable lives’ been fraught
With many quarters of declining ratings
Despite all Nielsen’s attempts at weightings.
Now they’re looking for measures more bundled,
While old audience counts around them crumble.
Netflix audiences grew and grew.
And binge viewing became the new
Standard for all those loyal viewers
Who now always look for something newer.
Blackberry lost even more mobile share.
Bill Cosby was accused of more affairs,
But Bill says this is ballyhoo
And now he’s going to counter-sue.
Howard Stern signed for 5 more years.
SiriusXM couldn’t believe their ears!
Millennials are the cohort chosen.
But Yahoo seems like it’s just frozen.
Amazon’s the online leader
When it comes to sales or a cool e-reader.
Their delivery drones are on the way,
And Wal-Mart now offers mobile pay.
Blue Bell ice cream saw tough times
But consumers forgave them for their crimes.
FIFA corruption was revealed
(That’s why Sepp Blatter seemed so well-heeled),
Which scared some sponsors off of soccer
Faster than a new ad-blocker.
That software has become a threat
Causing digital media to really sweat.
And not to sound so very dogmatic,
More brands are looking to plans programmatic.
But consumers showed a lot more passion
For those brands that dealt with fashion.
With selfies now a real big thing
Brands hope those pix make registers ring.
So Levis revamped women’s jeans
And Tory Burch thought sportswear keen.
Justin Bieber felt it was fine
To strip down for Calvin Klein.
Target stores were not so meek
About a positioning, cheap but chic.
Under Armour grew really fast.
Converse updated Chuck Taylor’s past.
Nike won the NBA
When competitor Adidas walked away.
Then Nike signed (for life) LeBron James,
One of the biggest of the NBA’s names.
We read about that while online,
Where each day consumers spend more time.
Social networking’s both biz and fun
And Facebook’s now the #1
Place where you and your friends can check it out
And maybe give a brand a shout.
Disney teamed with Alibaba (everyday getting bigger)
But at Brand Donald Trump you really should not snigger.
The Donald now is quite the gent
As now he runs for President.
And while some voters doubt his goals,
He’s still leading in all the polls!
Whole Foods thought their customers oughter
Gobble up expensive “asparagus water.”
And their pricing that was hard to follow.
While Campbell’s hoped consumers would swallow
More soup containing much less stuff
Figuring 20 ingredients were enough.
Pizza Hut told investors, “Don’t worry about taste.
Consumers will be happy if we just deliver with haste.”
Chipotle wanted ingredients from a local source
But now that’s taken them on another course.
So Chipotle’s life’s been far more hectic,
While Elon Musk’s been just electric!
The Fed finally raised the rates.
And everyone watched Black Friday sales abate.
GoDaddy won’t advertise on Super Bowl 50,
But PayPal thinks that game’s just nifty!
Uber’s and Lyft’s rideshare apps
Have created quite the flap
For travelers and rental cars,
Driving taxi drivers right into bars!
Uber’s picking up more speed,
Teaming with Facebook to gain a lead.
Chevy’s now the “connected” car
GM, Ford, and Hyundai came real far.
And once again Jeep was elected
The most-patriotic brand consumers respected.
And though it’s hard to shift consumer notions
It helps if you understand their emotions.
Though it seems each year to get harder and harder
Don’t let that fact affect your ardor
To market, plan, and innovate
What will help to make your brand just great!
But as this is our last missive of the year
We’d like to make one last thing clear.
While taking pleasure in material things,
Don’t forget the joy friends and family brings.
We wish you a New Year you'll never forget,
Full of love, joy, and peace, and your best one yet!

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